I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
