Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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