Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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