pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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