if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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