i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
