what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize