I wannas sexs uuuuu
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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