Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I need moral support for this bender
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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