I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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