how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
