: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
