Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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