allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
