So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
