A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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