and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
