so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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