i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
