FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
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