I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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