saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
