I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
