If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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