Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
