I have demons in me.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
