I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
