K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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