my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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