Tell her she can't have a vagina
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
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