Having a random hookup so left but love u
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
