Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
