is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
...so i touched it.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
