If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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