At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
