she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
