Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
