Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
