Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
