you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
