I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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