well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
