i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
