shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
