JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
