I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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