ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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