my mouth tastes like poor choices
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
