He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
