make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize