yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize