Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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