He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Less talking, more tequila
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
