Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
