I puked a lego.
worst night to have a conscience
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
