I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
