she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
