im holly from the hills drunk
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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