it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
