I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
foreskin is a definite game changer
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
