But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
