we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
