I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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