Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize