But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
