big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
