Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
