Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
My legs feel like baby dolphins
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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