At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
